“I don’t know where I’m
going” she says, staring into her paper cup.
“I’m scared. Who knows
what lies ahead? All I know lies behind.”
He takes a deep
breath, takes her hand and prepares to remind
his friend that what
has been, is why she’s here right now.
That she couldn’t take
any more, couldn’t live in the darkness.
Her mind tumbling,
fumbling, bumbling towards the light.
But now, the weak glow
of dawn doesn’t seem right.
It’s not the glorious
blaze she thought would meet her,
to greet her like a
prodigal daughter as she takes centre stage
(after all, who’s to
say she can’t star, even at her age?).
Instead she finds a
watery dose of reality,
No open arms, no pity party.
Not what she expected
at all.
He takes her cup, puts
it on the table, closes his coat
against the gale.
Wondering all the
while if he is able to convince her that
she won’t fall, she won’t
fail – she is enough on her own
to face the future and
show the world she’s not done yet.
It’s not about ‘Happy
Ever After’. Nor about a moment’s laughter.
He has no promises, no
declaration of devotion or endless care.
But he is there
- to hold her hand, to watch her try.
To make her smile
through tears, until they dry
upon her
mascara-streaked cheeks .
But words fail him,
sinking like sugar through froth in his coffee cup
stirred by a little
plastic stick.
He takes a sip then
turns his gaze to heavy clouds sulking on the horizon
like teenagers moping on the edge of social statistics.
“That’s where we’re going”
he says, pointing forward.
“It’s not perfect, but
it’s a start. A way to heal your trampled heart,
and put away what was,
what might have been.
Open your eyes to what you can
be.”
She shakes her head
but in surprise she sees,
wherever she
goes, whoever’s she’s with, she is enough.
Not what she expected
at all.
- AJ Millen, March 2016
