Sometimes, the things we fear the most are all too human...
Fallen Angel
by AJ Millen
Grace Bellamy stared at the
bundle the midwife thrust into her arms. It was the moment she had so yearned
for, and now she felt nothing but dread.
The newborn infant would have been a
thing of beauty and pride for any mother - but all she saw was a monster. An
abomination she’d brought into the world as a result of the unholy pact she’d
made. Its blue-eyed blink glinted with the promise of a thousand evils it would
unleash upon the world, and when it opened its mouth to yawn, she saw a black
abyss lined with sharp, teeth-like rocks.
“Well done, my dear. It’s a boy,”
said Mrs Duffy, gently wiping a stray strand of sweat-soaked hair from Grace’s
forehead. “Now, don’t you worry. This one is a fine young thing, as hale and
hearty a bairn as I’ve ever seen.”
Grace stared at the kindly
midwife, eyes wide with terror.
“Aye, my dear,” continued the soothing
Aberdeenshire lilt. “Mark my words. No only will this one live, he will do
great things.”
Eugenia Duffy thought she was
reassuring the mother. She’d been at Grace’s side throughout the four births
that had produced nothing but limp, lifeless corpses - waxen dolls never
destined to live a day. Another two had lived a day, but no more.
She believed she knew Grace
Bellamy’s greatest fear.
She was wrong.
She was wrong.
In truth, Grace was facing her worst
nightmare in the tightly swaddled bundle that Sarah, her trusted maid, gently
took and placed in the cradle next to her bed. Mrs Duffy set about cleaning up
and straightening the bed covers in preparation for the proud father to meet
his son.
Grace let out a scream more
piercing that any that had accompanied the agony of her labour. The midwife
looked up in shock. Sarah rushed to her mistress. But Grace didn’t see them. She
saw sinister horned demons, flashing blood-stained grins at her through a black
cloud rising out of the cradle.
She knew what they were and why they were there.
It was all her doing.
She knew what they were and why they were there.
It was all her doing.
When she’d realised she was with
child again, her worst fear had been that she’d be planting yet another small,
sad coffin in the family plot at St Wilfred’s. She’d grasped at every straw. Endless
prayers and promises to the heavens. Countless doctors, both in Harley Street
and in London’s less reputable side-streets, whose patent cures and potions
she took religiously. She even visited clairvoyants who claimed to speak to the
world beyond this one.
One convinced her she was cursed.
But, for a fee, that curse could be broken. They’d visited Highgate Cemetery
and stood before the gothic headstone of Maximillian Colbert, illustrious businessman
and – according to Madame Petrovna – a devoted follower of the Spiritist Allan
Kordec. It was All Saints’ Eve, when the medium claimed the veil dividing the
temporal and spiritual worlds could open to those wishing to connect with the
‘Other Side’.
Colbert had been a strong spirit,
she had said, and would be able to help Grace produce a son and heir that would not
only live, but would “do great things”. She had thrown herself at the headstone
and offered her very soul – and that of her unborn child.
It was only when he heard his new
born cries that she realised the price to be paid.
Through the dark smoke filling
her bed chamber, a figure appeared. At least seven feet tall, black as pitch
and with eyes that glowed red through the gloom. “You have done well,” it
rasped. “My son is born and now it has begun. My kingdom will come.”
“No, no, no, no.” Grace wailed,
thrashing about her bed. “You can’t have him. He’s not yours. I won’t let you.”
Another face emerged from the
gloom. Ernest, her loving and long-suffering husband. But somehow, not Ernest.
“Calm yourself, sweet Grace,” he
said, gently stroking her cheek. “You’re hysterical, my angel. Everything is as
it should be. You’ve done your part. Now sleep.”
He bent to kiss her forehead and tenderly
but firmly pressed a sponge dipped in something sweet-smelling against her
mouth. The fight left her and she fell into a sleep haunted by visions of
pagan monstrosities, apocalyptic battles and a black cloud eating the sun.
The sun was streaming through a
chink in the curtains when she awoke the next morning. Sarah was slumped, snoring,
in the armchair next to the crib. A blackbird sang in the plum tree outside her
window. All that was left of the previous day’s horror was the tinny taste of
blood in her mouth. Touching her tongue to her lower lip, she winced in pain. She’d
bitten it raw in her hysteria.
A hungry cry rose from the
cradle. Sarah grunted, shifted in her chair, and continued snoring. Grace
rose from her bed, and walked to the crib.
Calm now. she knew what she had
to do. Looking down at the newborn, she wondered at her terror the night
before. Now, she was serene, certain. She had a sacred duty to perform. She would
not fail.
Gazing into the blue eyes of the
child in the cradle, she whispered “He will not take us” and took from the
dressing table a long jeweled hairpin she used to hold her heavy locks in place.
“This won’t take long,” she
soothed the crying infant - before plunging the hairpin through the lace gown
into its tiny cursed heart.
FOOTNOTE:
Post-natal psychosis is not a supernatural phenomenon. It is a very real
psychiatric emergency and the quicker it is treated, the better.
If you suspect that you or someone you know may be suffering from it, seek
immediate medical assistance. The risk is higher for women who have (or who
have a first-degree relative with) a history of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia
or schizoaffective, and for those who have previously suffered from psychosis.
If you fall into the above categories and are planning a pregnancy, do NOT stop
taking your prescribed medication. Take folic acid on your obstetrician’s
advice and seek a referral to a Preconception Care Clinic. For more, see My Story of Mental Health and Wellbeing Through Pregnancy (Photo credit: LensMan Nick, a.k.a. Nikos Paraskevas)