Thanks to the the sultry Athens night (the temperature didn't dip below 30 deg. C) without air-conditioning, and a million and three paranoid thoughts buzzing round my head, I managed a grand total of 24 minutes sleep last night.
The remaining 5 hours and 13 minutes were spent:
- fitfully reading a near-future sci-fi novel in which the main character is the Ground Zero case of an incurable rabies epidemic;
- jumping up and checking every stray night sound, just to be sure a foam-flecked mad dog wasn't climbing in through the bathroom window or trying to force the front door;
- ploughing through ALL the podcasts on my trust iPod (including an entire half-hour devoted to pork scratchings - and I don't even eat meat!);
- flapping sheets around and trying out variations on the Roman toga theme, with the orange geometric pattern adding a contemporary edge;
- throwing sweat-soaked pillows around the room, then reaching out to hug them (the Ovver Arf wasn't with me - and he doesn't like it when I try and throw him around the room at 4 in the morning);
- trying NOT to think about worst-case scenarios for the next few months;
- as a result, obsessively going through my "what're we gonna do?" mantra;
- taking showers, only to find I'm dripping with sweat by the time I've dried off the suds;
- scrutinising spots, pores, wrinkles and stray hairs, then lamenting the inexorable march of time across my face;
- experimenting with sticky tape as a poor woman's alternative to Botox (don't bother, it won't stick to sweaty skin - maybe super glue will work?);
- rehearsing imaginary conversations with people I'll never meet;
- jumping up and down in front of the mirror and crying over the bits that are still wobbling 2 minutes after the rest of me has stopped;
- zapping through multiple channels to find nothing but unwatchable drivel....
Blimey! No wonder I'm knackered.
I would have prayed - for a cool breeze, an answer to all our woes, a thin body and a far bank account (rather than the other way round) - but I doubt anyone's listening.
But right now, I'd be willing to settle for a good night's sleep tonight.