Wednesday, 18 August 2010

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink...

I'm not my usual bright-eyed and bushy-tailed(?) self today.

Thanks to the the sultry Athens night (the temperature didn't dip below 30 deg. C) without air-conditioning, and a million and three paranoid thoughts buzzing round my head, I managed a grand total of 24 minutes sleep last night.

The remaining 5 hours and 13 minutes were spent:
  • fitfully reading a near-future sci-fi novel in which the main character is the Ground Zero case of an incurable rabies epidemic;
  • jumping up and checking every stray night sound, just to be sure a foam-flecked mad dog wasn't climbing in through the bathroom window or trying to force the front door;
  • ploughing through ALL the podcasts on my trust iPod (including an entire half-hour devoted to pork scratchings - and I don't even eat meat!);
  • flapping sheets around and trying out variations on the Roman toga theme, with the orange geometric pattern adding a contemporary edge;
  • throwing sweat-soaked pillows around the room, then reaching out to hug them (the Ovver Arf wasn't with me - and he doesn't like it when I try and throw him around the room at 4 in the morning);
  • trying NOT to think about worst-case scenarios for the next few months;
  • as a result, obsessively going through my "what're we gonna do?" mantra;
  • taking showers, only to find I'm dripping with sweat by the time I've dried off the suds;
  • scrutinising spots, pores, wrinkles and stray hairs, then lamenting the inexorable march of time across my face;
  • experimenting with sticky tape as a poor woman's alternative to Botox (don't bother, it won't stick to sweaty skin - maybe super glue will work?);
  • rehearsing imaginary conversations with people I'll never meet;
  • jumping up and down in front of the mirror and crying over the bits that are still wobbling 2 minutes after the rest of me has stopped;
  • zapping through multiple channels to find nothing but unwatchable drivel....

Blimey! No wonder I'm knackered.

I would have prayed - for a cool breeze, an answer to all our woes, a thin body and a far bank account (rather than the other way round) - but I doubt anyone's listening.

But right now, I'd be willing to settle for a good night's sleep tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Step One: remove all items from refrigerator.

    Step Two: place feet in now-empty 'fridge.

    Step Three: Commence snoring blisfully.

    I don't actually know for a fact that this will work, and you'll have no food left after it all melts into mush and probably frostbite on your tootsies BUT... I made you laugh ;)