Friday, 14 March 2014

The Kitty Letter Chronicles: Who’s CAD?

I’m special, you all know that. But now I know that I’m really special. Don’t take my word for it, ask the experts.

For greater minds that yours have deemed that I am CAD. That’s ‘Cat Attention Deficient’ and it’s a genuine affliction that plagues the highly intelligent and naturally gorgeous. It means that…

…  ...what? Oh, yeah.

…sorry about that, there was a flash of light outside the window I had to investigate. You never know, it might have been a scout heralding an alien invasion, or a flash of exploding dynamite, or something I could eat. Turns out, it wasn’t.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. CAD.

Eminent animal behavioural  specialists have studied me (those lucky people, must have been fascinating and easy on the eye, all at once) and they have come to the unanimous conclusion that I am one of a rare breed of all-round superior beings to be CAD.

But pity for poor feline so gifted. We never have a moment’s peace.

Not for us the joys of settling down in front of the box with the moving pictures for a couple of hours of a night like DanglyMan and Big Red do. Or standing over a pan sitting on the hot box in the kitchen, patiently stirring til something interesting happens?

Oh no.

You know when you’re sitting there concentrating on some important task at hand, like stalking an ant, investigating the contents of a plastic bag on the kitchen table, or chewing that splodge-shaped black dot on your left foot, when something compels you to throw yourself into the air and gallop round the room, then down the corridor where you collide head-first into the closed balcony door? 

Or when you’re settling down for a nice satisfying pooh or burying the one you did earlier in the sand, when a motorbike farts along the road distracting you from your important task in hand? 

Or you can’t settle down for a nice leisurely lick in a pool of sunshine when you suddenly become obsessed with the twitching tip of your tail?

You don’t?
Well, I shouldn’t be surprised really. We all know who the special one is around here, don’t we?

It’s like trying to catch every single note as it comes out of the speakers when a particularly twiddly piece of baroque music is played. Great fun at first - but ultimately exhausting.

That's why we cats have to sleep so much. We are knackered - all the time - as a direct result of our CAD disorder.

It’s the cross we have to bear – and all part of the deal when you’ve got a butterfly mind… 
….oh look, a butterfly!

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