New Commandments for a PC Age

Political correctness started off with the very best of intentions, in a bid to create a kinder, fairer, more tolerant and understanding society. But it has morphed into a monster that makes sane people despair and gives ample ammunition to bigots who pine for the days when they could slap offensive asides into everyday conversation without anyone (apart from those they insult) batting an eyelid.

For the Daily Mail and the likes of 'Angry of Tunbridge Wells', having the opportunity to justifiably rant "It's Political Correctness gone mad!" at the drop of a hat is like having Christmas every day.

It seems that we need a new set of rules for this age of precautions and Political Correctness. The old Ten Commandments we had drummed into us at Sunday School are simply no longer relevant or enough to meet the demands of our new reality. So, maybe a starting point for the New Commandments could be something along these lines:
1) Thou shalt not touch
2) Thou shalt not question the Powers That Be
3) Thou shalt not be thyself (unless thyself has been approved by an officially-appointed Commission, or starred in a Reality TV show)
4) That shalt worship at the altar of tabloid celebrity
5) Thou shalt not use long words for fear of offending the willfully ignorant
6) Thou shalt not scold or punish children in any way
7) Thou shalt not take photos of your kids at play without written permission of all blood relatives of other children within a 100-metre radius
8) Thou shalt honour thy partner or significant other (the terms 'husband', 'wife' and 'boy-' or 'girl-friend' are hereby outlawed)
9) Thou shalt not answer for the consequences of your actions
10) Thou shalt not reward ability, but encourage mediocrity and reward the 'special talents' of the intellectually-challenged

Of course, as for all thing PC, these new commandments must pass through a labourious committee stage. So, please feel free to chip in...