Monday 27 July 2009

Signs of the times

There are some things I love about the Brits – and one of them is our dry sense of humour. The following are real signs from around Britain:

At Penrith railway station:
Keep back from the platform edge
Or you may get sucked off

At a zoo:
Please be safe.
Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences.
If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.
Thank you.

In a public toilet:
Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean.
Gentlemen – Your aim will help. Stand Closer. It’s shorter than you think.
Ladies – Please remain seated for the entire performance.

On a piece of machinery:
CAUTION: This machine has no brain. Use your own.

On a company van:
“Stiff Nipples” air conditioning service

In a Nitelink bus:
Ladies, the poles are fitted for your safety.
No dancing.

At a beauty spot:
Attention Dog Guardians: Pick up after your dogs. Thank you.
Attention Dogs: Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog.

Notice at a “Toskana” shop:
Mr Toskana has had an expensive divorce and now needs the money, so
SALE NOW ON!!

At a bar (before the smokign ban came into effect):
Don’t throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Any other examples of inspired notices or announcements will be gratefully received.

4 comments:

  1. AHAHAHAH. LOVED this post. Especially the bathroom, bar, and zoo! Because the animals will get sick! ahahah.

    Thanks for stopping by! And lol, I didn't know about dock leaves! MUST find those for the future.

    -Laila
    www.randomweavings.blogspot.com

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  2. hahaha what a cool post!
    I think this one is hands down the mos hilarious post I've read today!!!

    thanks for sharing, I love it!

    *loves*

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  3. Haha these are great!
    Love the Nitelink bus one especially.
    Lol I like this one here as well:

    http://tinyurl.com/59xh56

    :)

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  4. Beth: I love your sign. Utterly brilliant!
    It reminds me of the old "Please do not throw stones at this sign" notice.

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