Monday, 27 July 2009

Signs of the times

There are some things I love about the Brits – and one of them is our dry sense of humour. The following are real signs from around Britain:

At Penrith railway station:
Keep back from the platform edge
Or you may get sucked off

At a zoo:
Please be safe.
Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences.
If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.
Thank you.

In a public toilet:
Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean.
Gentlemen – Your aim will help. Stand Closer. It’s shorter than you think.
Ladies – Please remain seated for the entire performance.

On a piece of machinery:
CAUTION: This machine has no brain. Use your own.

On a company van:
“Stiff Nipples” air conditioning service

In a Nitelink bus:
Ladies, the poles are fitted for your safety.
No dancing.

At a beauty spot:
Attention Dog Guardians: Pick up after your dogs. Thank you.
Attention Dogs: Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog.

Notice at a “Toskana” shop:
Mr Toskana has had an expensive divorce and now needs the money, so

At a bar (before the smokign ban came into effect):
Don’t throw your cigarette ends on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Any other examples of inspired notices or announcements will be gratefully received.


  1. AHAHAHAH. LOVED this post. Especially the bathroom, bar, and zoo! Because the animals will get sick! ahahah.

    Thanks for stopping by! And lol, I didn't know about dock leaves! MUST find those for the future.


  2. hahaha what a cool post!
    I think this one is hands down the mos hilarious post I've read today!!!

    thanks for sharing, I love it!


  3. Haha these are great!
    Love the Nitelink bus one especially.
    Lol I like this one here as well:


  4. Beth: I love your sign. Utterly brilliant!
    It reminds me of the old "Please do not throw stones at this sign" notice.